I have been waiting for a reason to use this song title. I love the song by TOAD. I didn’t expect to use it quite like this, though. Let’s get one thing straight right here. I am so angry right now, so amazed and so upset and so fucking floored that my hands are shaking. (this is making typing without typos a real treat, let me tell you)
Photog emailed me last Monday, right? After he “hung up” on our IM conversation. HE treated me like everything was fine, like he hadn’t basically accused me of cheating on him on Sunday. I ignored his email. Tuesday, he emailed me again. Then changed his username at the dating site, and emailed me again. I finally emailed him back and said no, I didn’t think a relationship was a good idea. Then he said his gut was right, he should have known, etc.. I deleted the email and then deleted my profile from the dating site. I removed him from my IM list, but didn’t block him, didn’t figure there was a need.
He IM’ed me at Mom & Dad’s today. He wanted to get back together. Actually, I believe his exact words were, “I want you in bed.” I was polite, but distant. Said that the only time we got along together was when we were in bed, so I didn’t think a relationship was a good idea. “Why” was what I got. I told him I was speaking with a few other guys now (i.e. I’ve moved on). I know what he thought of that, and frankly, I didn’t really care. So he suggested that he and I could be “sex buddies”. I said that wasn’t a good idea either, pointed out I didn’t want a purely physical relationship, and if I got interested in one of these other guys, how was that fair? I pretty much left it at that, and Dad wanted the PC, so I said goodbye and signed out.
I get home, had a nap, woke up, and signed in. THIS is what I got. THIS is why I’m so mad…
S says:
so r u up for it
Blue says:
hi.
Blue says:
i really don’t think it’s a good idea.
S says:
why
S says:
it can be fun
Blue says:
but why? i already said i don’t want a purely physical relationship with someone.
S says:
well we can have that and hangout as you figure out who u want
S says:
we have already been there
S says:
so may as well keep it up
Blue says:
no, I don’t think so.
S says:
u have nothing to loose [sic] just to gain
S says:
u really are a slut
And he immediately signed out. I was pissed right the fuck off and emailed him this:
THIS is exactly why we aren’t having a relationship. YOU ask me – practically BEG me – to have a flat-out physical relationship with you, and when I refuse, YOU call me a slut.
Nice.
In response, I got this:
well u are a slut…u fucked me at a drop of a hat. and now u are eyeing up another guy so fast..slut suits prefect [sic].
And before I let loose my temper on him, I deleted his email. I deleted his profile off my IM. I blocked him. My hands are shaking now, I’m so angry.
There is a difference in having a group of your friends call you a slut. If Brown Jeff did it, it was funny. T., also funny. NJ, when he does it in his emails, makes it sexy. Not since high school has someone used “slut” against me as an epithet. Oh yes, I know that those who anger you control you. I wonder how he’d like an email response, telling him that there were two reasons I don’t want to be his “fuck buddy”. 1) he clearly can’t handle it, and what if, in his anger, he gets violent? 2) he has the smallest cock I’ve ever seen, and yes, size does matter.
I’m writing here, in my blog, in MY space, because this is the only way I’m not going to lose it all over him and/or tell him those things exactly. How DARE he.
T., I know you said that they only know what you tell them and I’ve been keeping that in mind. Maybe I should have told Photog certain things about myself that I didn’t, and not told him others, but this is not cool.
