Blue Star above me,
when shadows lengthen and the dark looms ever closer,
turn on your shine and hold me near.
Okay, is there any point in me trying to pretend I don’t love this guy? Even when he’s being a dork, I still ache to be with him. Even when he’s being rude and abrasive, I still respect him. And when he is like he was tonight – sarcastic, funny, interested in what I have to say – I freaking love the crap out of him.
I also told him about my pills tonight. Perhaps I shouldn’t have, perhaps it’s too soon, I don’t know. But I felt funny about not telling him. And he brought up Sunday’s conversation, so I told him that it wasn’t completely my fault. And I explained about the medication and the switch this past weekend, and so on. He took it very well and didn’t ask questions. I compare Mud to myself sometimes, because we’re both Pisces, and I know that’s a risky venture. But I wouldn’t ask someone else about it, either, unless they volunteered the information. But he didn’t seem put off by it in any way. I’m sure he has questions, but he likely won’t ask them.
We talked for an hour – I called him. I need a new calling card, and I know I only had about 120 minutes on the card, and I’d like to put off a new card for a bit, so I didn’t want to talk forever. And frankly, talking two and three hours at a time every time is too much. I’m going to try to keep the calls shorter. I don’t expect I’ll hear from him until Tuesday, as he’s got the long weekend coming up. Unlike Chicago, Mud is off Monday instead of Friday.
Anyway. What else happened today? Oh, I found the above lyrics accompanying a BBC photograph, and I had to search them out. They’re lyrics to some Anime series, but I don’t care. I love those lines, because that’s what depression is like. When shadows lengthen and dark looms ever closer….
There’s a new guy at Candy Mountain. What shall we call him? Rico. For Rico Suave. He’s not smooth and irritating, but he dresses well. He’s 25, a college and university grad. He’s fascinated by Japan, has an older sister, and speaks Polish. He’s clever and witty, and … AM2 was right, I could be smitten. . . if all the qualities that I admired in Rico weren’t already present in someone else… And c’mon, he’s only 25. Practically an amoeba compared to me. Much better than TheGuy, in my personal opinion. He and I work alone together twice next week, so we’ll have to see how it turns out.
Anyway, it’s now close to midnight, and though I’m on a Mud high, I need some sleep. I did go to the gym tonight, and got in my half hour of cardio. I did five minutes warmup, ten minutes of jogging at 4.5, two minutes of walking, and then jogged the rest. I was quite proud of myself. And not even a headache to show for my troubles. Woohoo!
