So last night I posted my blog entry about the concert. I’d actually written it at 4:30 Monday afternoon, because I wasn’t really busy at work and I wanted to jot down my thoughts.

Now I’m doing the same thing – I didn’t really get the chance to blog last night, so I’m doing it now, at 12:30, at work.

I worked last night at CM with Rico, who is leaving for Japan in about two weeks. He’s taking a teaching position there and he’s over the moon about the concept. I would not be over the moon about going to another country, where the first language isn’t anything even resembling English, and where I know no one. I’ve learned in the past year that I like my friends, and I love my family. I’m not sure that moving half a world away would be a great idea for me. (As an aside, I always criticized Sis for not being able to move away from Mom and Dad. But perhaps she is stronger than I am in being able to admit that she needs familial support?)

CB was supposed to come over last night, but I called him when I left work (I’d missed his call) and he was extremely pissed off. He called me back at about 10:30. He’d been planning to come to my place, but had problems with his car and the alternator belt that resulted in him driving home with no lights on, and having to take part of a day off work to play with the car today. He caught me on IM a little later and said that, “I was looking forward to seeing you tonight. :-( ” I was touched, he doesn’t often say things like that, so it was really nice to hear.

He’s planning to come over tonight, but I haven’t any idea when. I brought my gym stuff just in case and I’ll have to stop by the mall and pick up my prescription, anyway. I saw the doc about an hour and a half ago, and he agreed that I could stay on my Prozac until the new year. Yes, he said, December wasn’t a great time to start coming off the pills. So I have 60 days plus a refill, and I have a physical booked for January 22. I’ll talk to him then about going off the meds. He said that I’d be taking one every other day for three weeks, and then one every three days for three weeks. Then hopefully I can fly free and without Prozac, at least for a little while. I expect that this might be a problem I have on and off for the rest of my life, but at least I know how to treat it.

There was a guy out in front of Hell yesterday… he deliberately walked into the path of a transport truck and was killed instantly. I am so, so glad that my depression has never once invoked suicide. Sure, everyone has thought about it, but it’s always been an idle thought for me, not something that I could see myself doing. I never bought a sharp knife or a razor blade with the intention of killing myself. I never seriously contemplated driving my car off the road or walking into the water with my pockets full of rocks. I certainly can’t imagine just stepping off the sidewalk and into the path of a truck. I feel worse for the driver than the victim, though. The poor driver, who has to live with the fact that he inadvertently killed someone. If you’re gonna go, if you’re gonna take your own life, do it yourself. Don’t put someone else at risk by your foolish actions. That driver has to live with that for the rest of his life.

I haven’t anything to do here at work right now, but I probably shouldn’t advertise that fact. :-P